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Wedding Day Fears

It is very common, and perfectly normal, to have fears and concerns about your upcoming wedding.  It is nothing to be surprised by or ashamed of.  When it becomes a problem is when your concern effects your enjoyment of the day.

#1: Something may go wrong
Let's cover this one first to get it out of the way.  Something will go wrong on your wedding day.  Expecting perfection is unrealistic.  There are just too many things going on during your wedding day to expect everything to go flawlessly. 

You do not want to go in expecting the worst, but also do not expect perfection.  That said, do not focus on the idea that something will go wrong.  Just be ready to roll with anything that happens.

#2: Stage fright
Most people are uncomfortable in front of large groups of people, and you will most likely have dozens, if not hundreds, of your friends and family gathered around for your big day.  It’s perfectly normal to be nervous.  What you do not want to have happen is to let those nerves come in the way of your enjoyment.  Deep breaths work well here.  What is really important is to realize that everybody in the room is someone that cares about you and they are there to share in your day.

#3: Cold Feet
Again, this is perfectly normal.  Every bride and groom has cold feet to some level.  After all, you are planning on spending the rest of your life with this person and that is a major decision. 

The best thing you can do is to know why you love this person and why you want to marry them.  With the love you two share fresh in your mind cold feet are easy to overcome.

#4: Freezing Up
This goes along with stage fright.  Some people, when in an uncomfortable position, freeze up and forget what to say.  Just like #2 the best thing you can do is to remember that everybody there is there for you and your future spouse and to do your best to not feel uncomfortable. 

#5: He might change his mind
As often as this happens in TV and the movies, in real life it is extremely rare.  If you have this concern the best thing you can do is talk with your fiancé a few days before hand to let him know of your concern.  Most grooms (or brides) will do everything in their power to make sure you know they are sincere in their desire to marry you. 

What to do?

• Slow, deep breathing can work wonders for your nerves.  When we get nervous our breathing speeds up.  By focusing on keeping our breaths deep and slow it helps to keep us calm.
• Be positive and upbeat.  Your wedding day is a happy event.  Do not let your nerves take away from that.
• Stay focused on what is important.  It does not matter if your future mother-in-law has trouble lighting the unity candle or your third cousin is in the back row wearing a white dress.  What is important is that you and your fiancé are committing to each other in front of your family and friends.  At the end of the day you will be husband and wife.  Everything else is secondary. 
• Be prepared.  Many times fear comes from the unknown.  By planning ahead and knowing what to expect you can minimize these concerns.
• Get plenty of sleep. 
• Eat breakfast.  Just like your teachers told you before a big test, eating breakfast can make a big difference on how your day goes.
• Have fun.  This one is the last, and most important.  Your wedding day should be fun. 

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